Have u ever felt numb towards anything or anyone or just NUMB. No feelings, nothing u can put ur finger on and name? Why do we like to name things or find an explanation to some phenomenon occuring in our lives? A study on philosophy would tell us that humans as rational beings love to indulge in the art of generating theories about different phenomenons whether normal or extraterrestial. Hence the ability to determine the current emotional state of your very being.
I have recently discovered my ability to feel numb towards certain classes of people. Its weird, I may not even shed tears at their funeral.. coz I am numb. Tears signify sadness, or anger or guilt. Or maybe happiness. But being happy at someone's expense.. even the dead is too morbid! Ewwww!!!
So one of the sins of an idle mind is the ability to feel numb. I only discovered I had the ability to feel numb, when I was idle and had nothing better to think of. I could put a name to my emotion - numb! Amazing!
Another sin is to indulge in fantasy. Like being rescued by a knight in shining armour. Or being so curvy, that it would only be safe to travel in a bullet-proof car, lest all the blondes scream and hound my shadows.
What other sins of an idle mind can I address? This list will become longer with experience.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Sunday, November 11, 2007
The paper chase
The paper chase has derived its name not from the noble efforts of people trying to recycle and save the planet for the next generation, but otherwise from the ones who go about creating more trash in the form of exam notes, test scripts and academic certs.
The boom of the new generation of paper chasers has been encouraged along by the sprouting of new institutions of higher learning with various piss courses with just about any major one can think of. There may even be a major, focusing on the evolution of a soap bubble.
Why do people want certs after certs, pouring millions into this industry.. when in actual fact they will be joining the rat race and slogging hard on unrelated fields in the future. It seems like a waste of time, spending hours poring over textbooks and getting practical training in something u're least likely to be doing when u hit the working world.
Its ironic.. but isn't life ironic??
I'm into paper chasing. And I don't know whether paper chasing is in my genes, or whether I am getting myself into fields I am obsessed about, then decide against upon completion, or just whether I want to remain a professional student all my life.
You bet your holey socks, if they paid bigtime for professional students, I'd be the first to apply.
Til then, I am gonna complete this last paper chase and lie low for awhile til the bug bites again. Then its masters in I dunno wut :p
The boom of the new generation of paper chasers has been encouraged along by the sprouting of new institutions of higher learning with various piss courses with just about any major one can think of. There may even be a major, focusing on the evolution of a soap bubble.
Why do people want certs after certs, pouring millions into this industry.. when in actual fact they will be joining the rat race and slogging hard on unrelated fields in the future. It seems like a waste of time, spending hours poring over textbooks and getting practical training in something u're least likely to be doing when u hit the working world.
Its ironic.. but isn't life ironic??
I'm into paper chasing. And I don't know whether paper chasing is in my genes, or whether I am getting myself into fields I am obsessed about, then decide against upon completion, or just whether I want to remain a professional student all my life.
You bet your holey socks, if they paid bigtime for professional students, I'd be the first to apply.
Til then, I am gonna complete this last paper chase and lie low for awhile til the bug bites again. Then its masters in I dunno wut :p
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Who am I?
What appeared to be a simple exercise of filling out one of those compulsory forms turned out to be a mind-changing episode in my otherwise droll 24-year old life. I’m not creating a mountain out of a mole-hill, but it appears significant enough to deserve a dash of thought.
It started as I poised my pen to fill in the column marked “Race:” Without hesitation I almost wrote ‘non-athletic’. But the column beneath stopped me just in time. This column was labeled “Nationality:” Looking back at Race, I knew it was a far cry from the meaning I'd imposed on it. This started me thinking, what is race?
You don’t have to be a genius to know that Race means ethnic origin. This is summarized to mean the grouping on the human race into various classes of people. How is this classification done?
Perhaps by continent -> Africa, asia, Mongolia, America. This prompted me to look up an encyclopedia on the different ethnic groups in the world. There are three main groups: Caucasian, Negroit and Mongolian.
The task of classifying humans into various groups would have been an arduous task, save for the fact that humans do not remain in a certain area. They immigrate and emigrate. If this does not add to the confusion, it is topped by the fact that human inter-marry, thus producing offspring of mixed ethnicity. Like that helps!
A certain ethnic group is identified by its various; if not special traits. For example, the Caucasian has fair skin, light coloured hair, and speaks languages like French, English and Spanish. But all in the name of education, humans have mastered each other’s ethnic language. This has given birth to a new concept: Borderless society. More chaos!
Back to the question: What is Race? If my nationality is Malaysian because the country of residence is Malaysia, what is my Race? I checked my identity card to eliminate all doubts of my ethnicity. Guess wat?! I’ve been classified as Indian. Wow! The big-wigs at the National Registration Office would make helluva good lawyers. They surpass themselves. Such good liars…what a blatant lie.
I may pass off as an Indian, if the Indian race has traits describing them as coloured, brown, black hair, big eyes. But Malays are coloured, brown and have big eyes too. The only difference is Indians speak Tamil or Hindi. Malays speak the Malay Language.
Back to my case: I speak fluent Malay. In fact, I dream in it, swear in it, compose and sing it. Does this mean I am Malay? Malaysian Syariah Law makes is compulsory that all Malays are Muslims. For the record, I’m Christian. So, I’m not Malay. That eliminates a bit of the complication.
On the other hand, I speak English fluently. In fact, it is my native language since I believe impulses in my brain are transmitted in English. Does this make me Caucasian?Hell no, I’m a coloured thingy. Sun-bathing would not enhance my skin tone, giving it a warm golden tinge. Heck, I’d be dying of skin cancer!
I don’t speak Tamil. I don’t watch Bollywood movies. I don’t fancy wearing the sari or Punjabi suits. I respect them as beautiful national costumes of India. Which brings me back to the point, why call it national costume of India? Well, because it originated from India. Enough said. Would I call it my national costume? No, never! I’m not an India-person. I’m Malaysian. Period.
Here’s a description of a Malaysian:I love watching Hollywood flicks. I enjoy watching serials like Desperate Housewives, Gilmore Girls, ER and Everwood; to name a few. I do not watch it because it is an ‘in-thing’ to do. Rather, I enjoy the dialogue. The script is written so it tickles my sense of humour.
I love bland food. Anything from low-grade curries (on a spicy scale), Chinese food (this is a generic name for the food, though calling it Chinese seems to clash with my very argument above), Nyonya kuih,durian, laksa and nasi lemak. I occasionally eat fastfood. I also love Western (generic name, yet again!) food – chicken chop and steak.
My best friends are people of all colours and creed. What about friends who are from multiracial backgrounds? The National Registration Office has labeled such a friend of mine of mixed parentage, after her father’s ethnic origin. Is this fair? It isn’t. She is 50% father’s race and 50% mother’s race. Isn’t that complicated? Wouldn’t this give birth to a wholly new race? The mixed race? Like our cousins, the Eurasians. Since my friend’s identity card states her father’s ethnic origin, should she then cut her wrists in an attempt to drain out 50% of her mother’s ethnic blood?
Even race matters complicate my love life. Why am I attracted to guys of other ethnic origins? (This may draw shudders and looks of dismay from people of my ethnic origin) Should I hide the fact that I’m attracted to them? No, I will not change who I am to suit society around me. I shall happily date guys of different ethnic origins who share the same beliefs and philosophies of life.
I now know who I am. I am Malaysian. No Indian, Chinese or Malay categorization will make a difference to my very being. If I may add a new category under Race, it would be Malaysian. My nationality would be Asian, since I live in this continent. And for the record, I have never experienced the four seasons either :o)
//written in 2005
It started as I poised my pen to fill in the column marked “Race:” Without hesitation I almost wrote ‘non-athletic’. But the column beneath stopped me just in time. This column was labeled “Nationality:” Looking back at Race, I knew it was a far cry from the meaning I'd imposed on it. This started me thinking, what is race?
You don’t have to be a genius to know that Race means ethnic origin. This is summarized to mean the grouping on the human race into various classes of people. How is this classification done?
Perhaps by continent -> Africa, asia, Mongolia, America. This prompted me to look up an encyclopedia on the different ethnic groups in the world. There are three main groups: Caucasian, Negroit and Mongolian.
The task of classifying humans into various groups would have been an arduous task, save for the fact that humans do not remain in a certain area. They immigrate and emigrate. If this does not add to the confusion, it is topped by the fact that human inter-marry, thus producing offspring of mixed ethnicity. Like that helps!
A certain ethnic group is identified by its various; if not special traits. For example, the Caucasian has fair skin, light coloured hair, and speaks languages like French, English and Spanish. But all in the name of education, humans have mastered each other’s ethnic language. This has given birth to a new concept: Borderless society. More chaos!
Back to the question: What is Race? If my nationality is Malaysian because the country of residence is Malaysia, what is my Race? I checked my identity card to eliminate all doubts of my ethnicity. Guess wat?! I’ve been classified as Indian. Wow! The big-wigs at the National Registration Office would make helluva good lawyers. They surpass themselves. Such good liars…what a blatant lie.
I may pass off as an Indian, if the Indian race has traits describing them as coloured, brown, black hair, big eyes. But Malays are coloured, brown and have big eyes too. The only difference is Indians speak Tamil or Hindi. Malays speak the Malay Language.
Back to my case: I speak fluent Malay. In fact, I dream in it, swear in it, compose and sing it. Does this mean I am Malay? Malaysian Syariah Law makes is compulsory that all Malays are Muslims. For the record, I’m Christian. So, I’m not Malay. That eliminates a bit of the complication.
On the other hand, I speak English fluently. In fact, it is my native language since I believe impulses in my brain are transmitted in English. Does this make me Caucasian?Hell no, I’m a coloured thingy. Sun-bathing would not enhance my skin tone, giving it a warm golden tinge. Heck, I’d be dying of skin cancer!
I don’t speak Tamil. I don’t watch Bollywood movies. I don’t fancy wearing the sari or Punjabi suits. I respect them as beautiful national costumes of India. Which brings me back to the point, why call it national costume of India? Well, because it originated from India. Enough said. Would I call it my national costume? No, never! I’m not an India-person. I’m Malaysian. Period.
Here’s a description of a Malaysian:I love watching Hollywood flicks. I enjoy watching serials like Desperate Housewives, Gilmore Girls, ER and Everwood; to name a few. I do not watch it because it is an ‘in-thing’ to do. Rather, I enjoy the dialogue. The script is written so it tickles my sense of humour.
I love bland food. Anything from low-grade curries (on a spicy scale), Chinese food (this is a generic name for the food, though calling it Chinese seems to clash with my very argument above), Nyonya kuih,durian, laksa and nasi lemak. I occasionally eat fastfood. I also love Western (generic name, yet again!) food – chicken chop and steak.
My best friends are people of all colours and creed. What about friends who are from multiracial backgrounds? The National Registration Office has labeled such a friend of mine of mixed parentage, after her father’s ethnic origin. Is this fair? It isn’t. She is 50% father’s race and 50% mother’s race. Isn’t that complicated? Wouldn’t this give birth to a wholly new race? The mixed race? Like our cousins, the Eurasians. Since my friend’s identity card states her father’s ethnic origin, should she then cut her wrists in an attempt to drain out 50% of her mother’s ethnic blood?
Even race matters complicate my love life. Why am I attracted to guys of other ethnic origins? (This may draw shudders and looks of dismay from people of my ethnic origin) Should I hide the fact that I’m attracted to them? No, I will not change who I am to suit society around me. I shall happily date guys of different ethnic origins who share the same beliefs and philosophies of life.
I now know who I am. I am Malaysian. No Indian, Chinese or Malay categorization will make a difference to my very being. If I may add a new category under Race, it would be Malaysian. My nationality would be Asian, since I live in this continent. And for the record, I have never experienced the four seasons either :o)
//written in 2005
Saturday, July 14, 2007
The end of the contract
Four weeks has flown! Can u imagine?! Four weeks of being freaked and stressed contemplating whether your work is of an acceptable standard. Maybe I should rob a bank.
Well, its not like I'm staying away from the office... I'll still be returning on Monday albeit in a new role... relegated to the library.
I stayed back last nite working on an IT matter which I thought was quite fun. At least this one did not involve drafting out agreements or some sorta boring contract. And it was my last day, so it felt good to give it my all.
Then I go back to my workstation and I see an email sitting there from the partner with too much teeth.. and I'm like *crap* he wants to see me and prolly gimme a shelling for some work I did.. which was slightly messy, but not so messy, coz it was just creating a table. But anyways... And then when I went to see him, he'd gone back home. Damn. Now I'd have to go see him on Monday and the shelling would be even worse coz he'd have premeditated and meditated and have done a few yoga moves just to prepare the whole lecture... yadayadayada.
Its 9.15am and I am feeling like crap. I've tuition to teach today and I am not prepared.. the calculations make me freeze and shrivel up.
Well, its not like I'm staying away from the office... I'll still be returning on Monday albeit in a new role... relegated to the library.
I stayed back last nite working on an IT matter which I thought was quite fun. At least this one did not involve drafting out agreements or some sorta boring contract. And it was my last day, so it felt good to give it my all.
Then I go back to my workstation and I see an email sitting there from the partner with too much teeth.. and I'm like *crap* he wants to see me and prolly gimme a shelling for some work I did.. which was slightly messy, but not so messy, coz it was just creating a table. But anyways... And then when I went to see him, he'd gone back home. Damn. Now I'd have to go see him on Monday and the shelling would be even worse coz he'd have premeditated and meditated and have done a few yoga moves just to prepare the whole lecture... yadayadayada.
Its 9.15am and I am feeling like crap. I've tuition to teach today and I am not prepared.. the calculations make me freeze and shrivel up.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
The day before work
Ok, lemme complain abit. I hate titles. Why do I need a title for every blog I write? *shucks*
I think Dom lost his sim-card. Which spells silence from that part of Subang.. tee..hee
Now back to news about yours truly: I ahem... start work tmrw. Does it suck?! Yeah! Big time. No the firm is fine.. it'd prolly be like any other place out there: admin v. exec level. *bittch, bitch, bitch* about anything under the sun!
But its the caged feeling. If I wake up tmrw and feel like turning over and going back to sleep, I'd have no choice but to get up, empty 'em bowels (don't start the Kurap off.. she can write a thesis), push some food down my esophagus and get dressed. Skip the bath.. it'd serve as a 'taste of your own medicine' to the morons on the LRT at 6pm.
Working hours from 9am to 6pm.. plus the need to stay back coz they've paid u RM800 a month. What?! Plus... u can't top this... your's truly has to wear heels... damn heels.. mind u... and all at the risk of developing scoliosis, osteoperosis, a malady suffered by the Hunchback of Notre Dame and varicose veins. Damn! Now I'd have to cancel all contracts I had with Playboy.
How would work go? People will stare at my gawd-awful huge hide as I enter and heave and sigh in my gawd-damn heels. Then I'd proceed to the registration counter and the security will need my IC.. which contains a hantu-look-alike photo.. which would prolly make the security throw up.. out comes nasi lemak.. *good.. makes security more alert!*
Lalala... I don't care. I believe 4 weeks will fly by and I shall be free again. Damn u cage!
Life sucks! Life cannot suck coz life is not a sweet! *sounds so lame.. like something Anil would say*
I think Dom lost his sim-card. Which spells silence from that part of Subang.. tee..hee
Now back to news about yours truly: I ahem... start work tmrw. Does it suck?! Yeah! Big time. No the firm is fine.. it'd prolly be like any other place out there: admin v. exec level. *bittch, bitch, bitch* about anything under the sun!
But its the caged feeling. If I wake up tmrw and feel like turning over and going back to sleep, I'd have no choice but to get up, empty 'em bowels (don't start the Kurap off.. she can write a thesis), push some food down my esophagus and get dressed. Skip the bath.. it'd serve as a 'taste of your own medicine' to the morons on the LRT at 6pm.
Working hours from 9am to 6pm.. plus the need to stay back coz they've paid u RM800 a month. What?! Plus... u can't top this... your's truly has to wear heels... damn heels.. mind u... and all at the risk of developing scoliosis, osteoperosis, a malady suffered by the Hunchback of Notre Dame and varicose veins. Damn! Now I'd have to cancel all contracts I had with Playboy.
How would work go? People will stare at my gawd-awful huge hide as I enter and heave and sigh in my gawd-damn heels. Then I'd proceed to the registration counter and the security will need my IC.. which contains a hantu-look-alike photo.. which would prolly make the security throw up.. out comes nasi lemak.. *good.. makes security more alert!*
Lalala... I don't care. I believe 4 weeks will fly by and I shall be free again. Damn u cage!
Life sucks! Life cannot suck coz life is not a sweet! *sounds so lame.. like something Anil would say*
Friday, June 15, 2007
The many faces of KURAP! bad reaction to the London External
(c) the kurap requested anonimity as a result of gaining employment at a reputable law college
~ Post exam condition ~
a natural saturation of knowledge in the grey matter
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
The Wonders of Kota A Famosa
Wondering how to improve on the architecture. It only takes 2 law students to conquer the fort! Probably one and a half law students. The thin one has a void between the ears :p
Only Natural
Looking back and it comes to me
Close my eyes and it still surrounds
Looking back, trying to forget
The fateful day we parted company
Years go by people pass me by
Quaint and warm ,
just like yesterday
Through the mist,
I feel a peace
Memories that keep me onward bound
This natural feel,
within my soul
Clings to my being,
won't let go
This natural feel, deep down inside
Reflects all I feel for you
Close my eyes and it still surrounds
Looking back, trying to forget
The fateful day we parted company
Years go by people pass me by
Quaint and warm ,
just like yesterday
Through the mist,
I feel a peace
Memories that keep me onward bound
This natural feel,
within my soul
Clings to my being,
won't let go
This natural feel, deep down inside
Reflects all I feel for you
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Before the last paper
I had to blog about this. My last paper company law.. and 4 days before the paper, my hand decides to cramp up and cause me great nauseous pain. Yeah, me and my many inflictions.
I have this feeling that tmrw will never come. And then when tmrw comes, it will fly by so fast, that I will awake only to realise that I am at the crossroads of life... similar feelings in 2004 overwhelm my soul. Now that sounds classy doesn't it. Nah.. I just wanna get my own bachelor pad *wheedles*
The streaming is really lousy today, which makes my YouTube screening lag. *ok, ok I'm not complaining*
I have this feeling that tmrw will never come. And then when tmrw comes, it will fly by so fast, that I will awake only to realise that I am at the crossroads of life... similar feelings in 2004 overwhelm my soul. Now that sounds classy doesn't it. Nah.. I just wanna get my own bachelor pad *wheedles*
The streaming is really lousy today, which makes my YouTube screening lag. *ok, ok I'm not complaining*
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Scams everywhere!
Scams! I don't feel safe anymore. I could be cheated, robbed, beaten and still pledge allegiance to a scam.
Some people say a scam is not a scam. Others say it is. Who do I believe?
My conclusion:
Psalm 127: 1 "Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain that build it. Unless the Lord keeps the city, the watchmen waketh but in vain."
Some people say a scam is not a scam. Others say it is. Who do I believe?
My conclusion:
Psalm 127: 1 "Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain that build it. Unless the Lord keeps the city, the watchmen waketh but in vain."
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Aliens
Why did they leave home
I don't care!
For fame, fortune or fun
Who cares?
In this new land, they settled by
Adopt the culture, they would not abide
'Unite!' they say, 'Don't lose our identity!'
What identity?
Years go by, the media highlights
News abuzz in their homeland
'Maintain our identity' their echoed cries
Rings clear in the ears of the next generation
Why the divide, why polarization?
Blame it on religion, the media, urbanization
Hold on proudly to your culture
Lend a hand to cement this divide.
I don't care!
For fame, fortune or fun
Who cares?
In this new land, they settled by
Adopt the culture, they would not abide
'Unite!' they say, 'Don't lose our identity!'
What identity?
Years go by, the media highlights
News abuzz in their homeland
'Maintain our identity' their echoed cries
Rings clear in the ears of the next generation
Why the divide, why polarization?
Blame it on religion, the media, urbanization
Hold on proudly to your culture
Lend a hand to cement this divide.
Revoked
I try with all my will and might
Abandon what I started right
Turning my back on life's assurances
Revoking all my past pleasures
Life is easy, Life is kind
It becomes boring
This smooth life of mine
I threw a stone to see how far
A ripple forming would take its course
I neither regret nor am subdued
This constant bore of an idle life.
Abandon what I started right
Turning my back on life's assurances
Revoking all my past pleasures
Life is easy, Life is kind
It becomes boring
This smooth life of mine
I threw a stone to see how far
A ripple forming would take its course
I neither regret nor am subdued
This constant bore of an idle life.
Wonderful memories of my birthday, March 2007
The naughty, up-to-no good friends of mine plotted, planned and schemed and bought me this chocolate cake with so many candles I needed a fire extinguisher. Well, all I can say is, I was speechless. Just love them so much :)
Moot Competition, Dec 2006
The moots were a great experience for me, for the second time in a row, my counsel was Dominic Chew, a handsome young man with a penchant for making numerous phone calls in a single day.
We made it to the semi-finals and wow.. it was blast! I lost much spit.
The winning shot that raised the number of hits on my Friendster account!
This beautiful lady with the caption: "Hello there!!"Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Five tips for a woman....
- It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job
- It is important that a man makes you laugh.
- It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
- It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
- It is important that these four men don't know each other
A woman's prayer
Now I lay me
Down to sleep
I pray the Lord
My shape to keep.
Please no wrinkles
Please no bags
And please lift my butt
Before it sags.
Please no age spots
Please no gray
And as for my belly
Please take it away.
Please keep me healthy
Please keep me young,
And thank you Dear Lord
For all that you've done.
Amen.
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
When memory fails you..
Memory is failing me!!! I will be turning 26 officially in 3 days, but nope... that is not the cause of my increasing flailing memory. I can't remember anything from what I previously revised.
Its just Hart.. I hate the man. Not that I have anything against Austrians or Germans (wat the heck?! same people are they not?!) but please.. the man sucks. He cannot write. Period. Its terrible. Even Rowling has better style.
And thus continues my affair with Hart, Dignam, Borkowski and Bainbridge. All men. All authors. All final year subjects *eeek!!!*
Here's something I grabbed from last nite's episode of 'Desperate Housewives': "Men are genetically incapable of realising that their plans are stupid!!" haha.. spot on!
I am watching reruns of Gilmore Girls on YouTube. I realise they have removed alot of previous posts, sigh..if it weren't for copyright laws, it'd be much easier to download. crap.
Why should I care??
Its just Hart.. I hate the man. Not that I have anything against Austrians or Germans (wat the heck?! same people are they not?!) but please.. the man sucks. He cannot write. Period. Its terrible. Even Rowling has better style.
And thus continues my affair with Hart, Dignam, Borkowski and Bainbridge. All men. All authors. All final year subjects *eeek!!!*
Here's something I grabbed from last nite's episode of 'Desperate Housewives': "Men are genetically incapable of realising that their plans are stupid!!" haha.. spot on!
I am watching reruns of Gilmore Girls on YouTube. I realise they have removed alot of previous posts, sigh..if it weren't for copyright laws, it'd be much easier to download. crap.
Why should I care??
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
After the hiatus
Well, the graveyard shift has begun... it's that time of the year again. Exams..exams..exams.
I like laying down things in bullet form, so here goes
I like laying down things in bullet form, so here goes
- Bambino - the cute little lizard in my bathroom who never lived to experience adulthood. He got stuck in the shower area which has a sliding door. Before I went to sleep, I banged all the sides of the sliding door to ensure he was not trapped there. But evilness in the form of Pigsista revealed itself the following morning, when stepping into the shower area, she slid the door and my poor Bambino lost one foot. He was left with 3 feet for a whole 24 hours in pain and hunger. He was laid to rest last night after Pigsista took her bath. *if sorrow did not kill him, I vouch for chlorinated, smelly bath water*
- Control - is a very strong word with a magnetic meaning. It either renders you worthwhile or utterly useless or used. Economy controls very much everything. If you contribute toward something, u get respect out of it. Living on charity draws control from other members of society. If you can't understand what I am saying, blame it on jurisprudence.
Working life is something everybody wants to avoid but will definitely go down that path in order to maintain the control through economy :o)
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